So your question is, “Can you buy ability online?”
Well, if you mean the wherewithal, the genius,
The gift that makes me so, um . . . fabulous,
Drop the largest figure you can afford, doll,
And let’s see if the bargaining can’t begin.
A propensity for poetry,
Perspicacity, and genius
Are indeed for sale.
But that’s not quite what you want,
Is it, Val?
For what you REALLY want,
You have to rotate those eyeballs inward, and
Stare bravely though the murkiness of the devilry within.
Then, grabbing your mind like the T-piece of a shovel,
And be it brain wave, sand or soil in that pit,
Dig till stinky sweat streams through your pores
And you reek like Pepé le Pew’s putrid tail notes.
Smell burnt toast to boot?
You’re closest to genius then.
Ya! Forget that old wive’s tale.
It’s not really a sign of stroke.
Cross, in due course, the horizon line of your mind,
And you can,
If you will, thereafter craft from spam, savoury poetry.